That was actually my cue to get pissed off. I have seen/heard it so many times. That this guy/girl to get another girl/guy changes their personality, looks or whatever. Why the hell would anyone do that? The way I see it, anyone who enters into a relationship with me will accept me as I am, as I will accept that person as she is. If the requirements for entering into a relationship is that I have to be something I am not, I would simply walk away. Yet people do it all the time, and they go to ridiculous lengths at times to get their object of desire. If you think that it’s fine, allow me to question you – How much would you interact with a person who had little respect for you or you had little respect for? If someone does not accept you as you are, or you don’t accept them as they are, then respect is lacking.
Let’s face it, respect between two people is a prerequisite to any kind of relationship. The very reason that slavery is unacceptable is because of the lack of respect imparted to the slave by their ‘master’, leading to ill-treatment and repression of the slaves. Final result? The slaves revolted. Same way, people in relationships lacking mutual respect will sooner or later begin to look for ways out. It is one thing to tell a person to or make oneself lose an annoying habit, once you are in a stable relationship, it is quite another to make someone or oneself into something else so that they are not prior to a relationship. To make it clearer, if someone does not like my smoking habit, then they very well may try to change it, depending on their relationship with me. However, no one has the right to tell me to keep my hair longer/shorter, wear clothing of a particular style or change my mindset as a prerequisite to a relationship. Obviously, what has come to be ‘myself’ gets lost once the change occurs due to external force and not due to my own compulsion or understanding. Same if one changes their nature simply because they want to catch someone’s eye, not because the change is necessary.
To sum the whole thing into a line – Fall in love as yourselves, not as some strange recreation of yourself.